Contents
- Introduction
- What the 9-day parastas means in Orthodox tradition
- How to organise the 9-day parastas — step by step
- What to prepare for the 9-day parastas
- The difference between the 9-day and 40-day parastas
- The complete calendar of all memorial services
- Regional differences across Romania
- Approximate costs for the 9-day parastas
- Frequently asked questions
- Summary
- Related articles
Introduction
We understand that you are going through an especially difficult time. Only a few days after losing a loved one, the pain is still very raw, and organising the 9-day memorial service (parastas) can feel like an overwhelming task. Your wish to honour tradition and do things properly reflects the deep care you hold for the person who has passed away.
The 9-day parastas is the second important moment of remembrance after the funeral, according to Romanian Orthodox tradition. It is simpler than the 40-day service, but it carries a special spiritual meaning — it is believed that during this period the soul is shown the beauties of paradise. The prayers of the family and the community accompany it on this journey.
In this guide, we explain step by step what the 9-day parastas means, what needs to be prepared, how the church service unfolds, what is given as pomana, and the approximate costs involved. You will also find a comparison table of all the memorial services in Orthodox tradition, as well as the regional differences across Romania.
This article complements our detailed guide to the 40-day parastas, which covers the most important memorial service after the funeral. Together, the two articles give you a complete picture of the calendar of remembrance during the first year after a death.
Alongside the physical traditions, many families today also choose to create a digital memorial for their loved one, where relatives from around the world can light a virtual candle and add memories — a gesture that complements tradition, without replacing it.
What the 9-day parastas means in Orthodox tradition
The 9-day parastas marks the moment when, according to Orthodox teaching, the soul of the departed has seen paradise and is preparing for the next stage of its journey. The prayers of those left behind accompany it through this passage, and the memorial service brings comfort to both the soul and the family. It is the second important parastas, after the one held on the 3rd day.
The journey of the soul — from 3 days to 9 days
Orthodox theology describes a journey of the soul after death, marked by several stages of spiritual significance:
- Days 1-3: the soul remains near the body and the places it held dear in earthly life. On the 3rd day, the family holds the first parastas, and the soul rises from beside the body.
- Days 3-9: the soul is shown the beauties of paradise. It is a period of light and peace, during which the soul contemplates the blessings of eternal life. This is why the family's prayers during this period are considered especially important — they support the departed through this experience.
- Days 9-40: the most difficult period begins — the soul passes through the "toll houses of the air", a series of spiritual trials. On the 40th day, the soul appears before God for the particular judgement.
Why 9 days — the significance of the number
The number 9 has a special significance in Christian tradition: it recalls the 9 orders (ranks) of angels in the heavenly hierarchy, described by Saint Dionysius the Areopagite — Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Powers, Authorities, Principalities, Archangels and Angels. At the 9-day parastas, the family asks for the intercession of these heavenly orders for the soul of the departed.
The prayers of the 9th day also mark the soul's transition from contemplating paradise to the period of trial that follows until the 40th day. It is a moment of "farewell" to the light of paradise, which gives the remembrance on this day a note of both hope and solemnity.
How to count the 9 days
The counting works the same way as for all memorial services: the day of death is day 1, regardless of the time at which death occurred. All consecutive calendar days are counted.
For example:
- Death on 1 March → 9-day parastas on 9 March
- Death on 25 March → 9-day parastas on 2 April
If the 9th day falls during a period when memorial services are not held (the first days of Easter, for example), the parastas can be moved to the nearest Saturday or Sunday, with the agreement of the parish priest.
How to organise the 9-day parastas — step by step
Organising the 9-day parastas is simple and does not require complex logistics. It is based on the memorial service at the church, bringing the coliva and colaci, and perhaps a modest memorial meal within the close family circle. Unlike the 40-day parastas, there is no need for a large meal or elaborate pomana parcels.
Step 1 — Contact the parish priest
2-3 days in advance, let the parish priest know that you would like him to officiate the memorial service (parastas) on the 9th day. Agree on:
- The date and time — usually in the morning, after the Divine Liturgy, or at a separately agreed time
- The place — usually at the church; some families also request a brief service at the cemetery
- The pomelnic — prepare a list with the baptismal names of the departed and of any other family members you wish to have commemorated
Step 2 — Prepare the ritual items
At the church, you will need to bring:
- Coliva — made from boiled wheat, decorated with a cross of icing sugar. It can be prepared at home or bought ready-made (details in our guide to coliva and colaci)
- Colaci — 1-3 round loaves of white bread
- Candles — a packet of wax candles
- Red wine — one bottle for the service
- Lamp oil — optional
Step 3 — Attend the memorial service
The parastas service usually lasts 15-30 minutes for the 9-day memorial (shorter than at 40 days). The priest reads the prayers for the repose of the soul, "Eternal Remembrance" is sung, and the coliva is blessed.
The family stands before the table with coliva and colaci, holding lit candles. At the end of the service, the coliva is shared with everyone present at the church, with the traditional words "God forgive him/her" and "Eternal remembrance".
Step 4 — The visit to the cemetery (optional)
Some families go to the cemetery after the church service. At the grave, candles are lit, wine is poured on the ground (in the shape of a cross), and a portion of coliva and a colac are left. It is an intimate moment of reflection.
Step 5 — Pomana (optional)
At the 9-day parastas, the memorial meal is not obligatory and, if held, is usually modest — just close family and a few neighbours or friends. Many families choose to offer only simple pomana parcels, without a meal.
What to prepare for the 9-day parastas
The preparations for the 9-day parastas are fewer than for the 40-day one, focusing on the essential items for the church service. There is no need for elaborate pomana parcels or a large meal for many guests. The basic elements are coliva, colaci, candles and wine.
Full list of the items needed
| Item | Quantity | Details | Approximate cost |
|---|---|---|---|
| Coliva | 1 tray | Made from boiled wheat, decorated with a cross of icing sugar | 50-150 lei |
| Colaci | 1-3 pieces | Round white bread | 20-50 lei |
| Candles | 1 packet | Wax candles for the church and cemetery | 10-30 lei |
| Red wine | 1 bottle | For the service at church and at the cemetery | 15-40 lei |
| Lamp oil | 1 small bottle | Optional, for the vigil lamps in church | 5-15 lei |
| Pomelnic | 1 item | The list of baptismal names of those commemorated | — |
| Flowers | 1 bouquet | Optional, for the grave | 30-80 lei |
Coliva — the central element
Coliva is the most important ritual dish at any parastas. If you do not have the time or means to prepare it at home, you can order it from a bakery or from specialists within the community. Prices vary between 50 and 150 lei, depending on quantity and decoration.
Whether it is made at home or bought, the coliva must be taken to the church to be blessed by the priest. Details of the traditional recipe, ingredients and the significance of each element can be found in our article Coliva and colaci at the parastas — traditions and recipe.
Modern families complement traditions with digital memorials. Alongside the church service and the traditional pomana, a digital memorial on Kinmory allows relatives and friends from all over the world to light a virtual candle and add photographs and memories. Learn more on Kinmory →
The difference between the 9-day and 40-day parastas
The 9-day parastas is a simple memorial, focused on the church service and prayer, while the 40-day parastas is the most important and complex commemoration after the funeral. The main differences relate to scale, cost, theological significance and the preparations required.
| Aspect | 9-day parastas | 40-day parastas |
|---|---|---|
| Significance | The soul is shown paradise | The particular judgement of the soul |
| Importance | Intermediate | The most important after the funeral |
| Church service | 15-30 minutes | 20-40 minutes |
| Coliva and colaci | Yes, compulsory | Yes, compulsory |
| Memorial meal | Optional, modest | Traditionally compulsory, with many guests |
| Pomana parcels | Simple or none | Elaborate, with clothing and household items |
| Pomana clothing | Not customary | Yes — shirt, towel, plate |
| Visit to the cemetery | Optional | Usually, yes |
| Approximate cost | 200-500 lei (without a meal) | 1,500-6,000+ lei |
| Number of guests | Close family | Extended family, neighbours, friends |
For full details on organising the 40-day parastas, including the traditional menu, the contents of the pomana parcels and the complete calendar, see our dedicated guide to the 40-day parastas.
The complete calendar of all memorial services
Romanian Orthodox tradition prescribes several moments of remembrance, each with its own spiritual significance. The 9-day parastas falls near the start of this calendar, during the period when the soul contemplates paradise. The table below sets out all the memorial services, from the first days after death to the 7-year commemoration.
| Memorial | When it is held | Spiritual significance | Scale |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 days | The 3rd day after death | The soul rises from beside the body; recalling the Resurrection on the 3rd day | Simple — service, coliva, colaci |
| 9 days | The 9th day after death | The soul is shown paradise; recalling the 9 orders of angels | Simple — service, coliva, colaci |
| 40 days | The 40th day after death | The particular judgement; the Ascension at 40 days | Full — service, meal, pomana |
| 3 months | 3 months after death | Continued prayers | Simple — service, coliva |
| 6 months | 6 months after death | Commemoration at the midpoint of the first year | Simple — service, coliva |
| 9 months | 9 months after death | Commemoration (not observed in some regions) | Optional |
| 1 year | One year after death | Completion of the mourning cycle; the lifting of mourning | Full — service, meal, pomana |
| 3 years | 3 years after death | Important commemoration | Medium — service, coliva, pomana |
| 7 years | 7 years after death | The last major commemoration | Full — service, meal, pomana |
Notes:
- The 40-day and 1-year memorial services are the most important and require full organisation.
- The 3-day and 9-day memorial services are simple — just the church service with coliva.
- In addition to these individual memorial services, the departed can also be commemorated at Mosii (Ancestors' Saturdays) — special days dedicated to the remembrance of all the departed. Find out the 2026 Mosii calendar →
Regional differences across Romania
Traditions surrounding the 9-day parastas vary from one region to another, reflecting Romania's cultural diversity. Although the basic elements (coliva, colaci, the memorial service) are universal, the scale and some customs differ depending on the geographical area and the predominant religious denomination.
Moldova
In Moldova, the 9-day parastas is observed strictly. Families usually prepare a small memorial meal at home, with ciorba (sour soup), sarmale and coliva, even if the number of guests is small (5-15 people). Candles and colaci are given to neighbours and those in need, "for the soul" of the departed. The custom of pouring wine on the grave is very widespread.
Muntenia and Oltenia
In Muntenia (including Bucharest) and Oltenia, the 9-day parastas tends to be simpler — often just the church service, without a memorial meal. The family goes to the cemetery and lights candles. In urban areas, especially in large cities, this remembrance is sometimes reduced to a minimum because of the fast pace of life.
Transylvania
In Transylvania, where Orthodox communities coexist with Catholic and Protestant ones, traditions vary significantly. Orthodox families observe the 9-day parastas, but in areas with a majority Hungarian or Saxon population, the custom may be absent. Catholic families do not have the tradition of a 9-day parastas, but can arrange a memorial service on request.
Banat and Crisana
In Banat, where the Catholic community has a stronger presence, Orthodox parastas traditions coexist with Catholic practices. Mixed families (Orthodox-Catholic) often adopt a simplified form, focused on prayer, without elaborate ritual elements.
Approximate costs for the 9-day parastas
The 9-day parastas is one of the most affordable memorial services in the Orthodox calendar. The main expenses are for the ritual items (coliva, colaci, candles) and the contribution to the church. If no memorial meal is organised, the total cost usually stays under 500 lei.
| Component | Minimum cost | Maximum cost | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Church service | 50 lei | 200 lei | Voluntary contribution, varies by parish |
| Coliva | 50 lei | 150 lei | At home (50 lei for ingredients) or bought |
| Colaci (1-3 pcs) | 20 lei | 50 lei | From a bakery or made at home |
| Candles | 10 lei | 30 lei | Packet of wax candles |
| Red wine | 15 lei | 40 lei | One bottle |
| Flowers (optional) | 30 lei | 80 lei | Bouquet for the grave |
| Total without a meal | 175 lei | 550 lei | |
| Modest memorial meal (optional) | 300 lei | 1,000 lei | 5-15 people |
| Total with a meal | 475 lei | 1,550 lei |
Prices are indicative for 2026. We recommend discussing exact costs with your parish priest and local suppliers.
By comparison, a 40-day parastas costs between 1,500 and 6,000 lei, and a complete funeral in Romania costs between 4,000 and 22,000 lei.
Frequently asked questions
How do you count the 9 days after a death?
The 9 days are counted starting from the day of death, which is considered day 1, regardless of the time at which death occurred. All consecutive calendar days are counted, including Saturdays and Sundays. For example, if death occurred on 1 March, the 9-day parastas is held on 9 March.
Can the 9-day parastas be moved to a different day?
Yes, the 9-day parastas can be moved to the nearest Saturday or Sunday if the 9th day falls on an unsuitable date or if the family cannot organise it on that exact day. Memorial services are not held during the first three days of Easter or during other major feast days. Consult your parish priest to determine the correct date.
How much does a 9-day parastas cost?
The 9-day parastas is one of the most affordable memorial services. Approximate costs include: the church service (50-200 lei), coliva and colaci (80-200 lei), and candles and wine (30-60 lei). If a modest memorial meal is also organised, the total budget reaches 500-1,500 lei. Without a meal, expenses stay under 500 lei. Prices are indicative for 2026.
What is the difference between the 9-day and 40-day parastas?
The 9-day parastas is simpler than the 40-day one. At 9 days, only the church service is held, with coliva, colaci and candles, plus perhaps a small memorial meal within the family circle. The 40-day parastas is the most important — it involves a full service, a memorial meal with many guests, elaborate pomana parcels and, often, a visit to the cemetery. The cost difference is significant: 200-500 lei compared with 1,500-6,000+ lei.
Summary
- The 9-day parastas marks the moment when, according to Orthodox tradition, the soul is shown paradise, and the family's prayers accompany it through this contemplation.
- Counting the days: the day of death = day 1; all consecutive calendar days are counted.
- What to prepare: coliva, 1-3 colaci, candles, red wine and a pomelnic — for the church service.
- The service lasts 15-30 minutes; the priest reads prayers of remembrance and blesses the coliva.
- The memorial meal is optional at 9 days — if held, it is modest (close family only).
- The cost: total without a meal, 175-550 lei; with a modest meal, 475-1,550 lei.
- Regional differences: in Moldova, a small memorial meal is organised; in Muntenia and urban areas, only the service; in Transylvania, it varies by denomination.
- The next important remembrance is the 40-day parastas — the most important in Orthodox tradition.
- Consult your parish priest for any questions about the date, the order of service, or regional adaptations.
Related articles
- The 40-day parastas — traditions, what to prepare and full calendar — the complete guide to the most important memorial service after the funeral
- Coliva, colaci and other traditions at the parastas — traditional recipes, Orthodox meaning and what goes into the pomana parcels
- Mosii and Ancestors' Saturday 2026 — calendar and traditions — all the Mosii dates in the liturgical year and their related traditions
- The grieving process — stages and how to cope with loss — a guide to understanding grief and accessing emotional support
Preserve memories forever
Traditions connect us to those we have lost. A digital memorial on Kinmory complements these traditions — relatives and friends from all over the world can light a virtual candle, add photographs and share memories, at any time and from any corner of the world.
Create a digital memorial on Kinmory →